Seasons Greetings and all that crap! Our latest scheme to get you to open your wallets might just be our most ridiculous yet. If you don't know what we're talking about, it's this. Here's how it works:
You pay us one whole American dollar, we call you on the phone and read you a two-minute story (give or take) of our own creation.
If you think about it, that's a pretty good deal. Calling one of those late-night TV hotlines would cost at least 10 times that, and you don't even have to do any dialing. You just have to sit by the phone between the hours of 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm Central today and answer when it goes a-ring-a-ling, or makes fart noises, or plays whatever weird ringtone you've chosen to demonstrate the quality of your character.
We know you're totally sold, but before you hit that BUY button, here are a few guidelines about what this call is and what it isn't:
1. This call is stupid. You are giving us your hard-earned money to listen to one of us recite a story that holds absolutely zero meaning and, quite frankly, is probably not very good.
2. This call is not a question and answer session. We will not tell you when the next BOC is for sale. We will not tell you why your order was late. We will not tell you why we suck so much since being purchased by Amazon. We read. You listen.
3. This call is stupid. Please refer back to #1.
4. This call is not a chance for you to verbally abuse us. If you act like a jerk or say anything inappropriate, we will hang up on you and you will not get your dollar back. NO REFUNDS, NO EXCHANGES.
5. This call is stupid. We can't say it enough.
6. This call is not one that we will make to you more than once. If you don't answer, we'll read our story to your voicemail. Then you'll have a recording to share with your grandchildren, who will undoubtedly ask you, "You really paid a dollar for this?"
7. If you don't have voicemail, or it cuts off after 30 seconds, you're out of luck. NO REFUNDS, NO EXCHANGES.
8. Post your experiences (good, bad, or indifferent) in this thread. Were you the only one to get the story about the Christmas Narwhal? WHO KNOWS?
So that's it. Buy if you dare. And if you dare, remember to update your phone number in your Woot account! We look forward to possibly entertaining but more than likely just disappointing you. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
XOXO,
WOOT!
Link:http://ift.tt/1mdboYP. http://ift.tt/eA8V8J
V247
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