An Open Letter To The Person Who Stole My Boiled Egg From The Mini-Fridge:
Whomever you were, Offensive Stranger, the best thing you can do is offer apologies. Because a boiled egg is cheap, and easy to replace, and as such I would find it very easy to forgive. Just say that you forgot your lunch, or maybe that you thought my egg was your egg, or maybe that you just were having a bad day and needed a protein blast. Say anything, really, as long as you take credit for your misdeeds. Because, if you don't, I may be forced to hunt you down using my Lenovo ThinkPad Yoga.
First, I'll use my Lenovo ThinkPad Yoga to compile a spreadsheet of everyone's whereabouts. This will help me narrow the suspects logically. Then I'll use my Lenovo ThinkPad Yoga to guard the fridge using the built-in webcam. My Lenovo ThinkPad Yoga is tough, you see, so it can survive sitting all day in the kitchen. And any boiled egg thief who refuses to apologize is a boiled egg thief who will almost certainly strike again.
Finally, once I catch you, I'll use my Lenovo ThinkPad Yoga to email the entire office a link to the Shame Nun and your name. You'll hear her bell ringing all day long. People will pass your desk just to reference it. You'll be the new Hodor, egg thief. Is that something you think you can endure?
Please contact me before end of day with plans for egg reparation. Thank you in advance.
Link:http://ift.tt/29b2rc5. http://ift.tt/1ZDjS7W
V247
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