Deals and Deals: May 2016

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Live From the Internet!

Breaking news about videos that will help you waste time at work.

Welcome to Live From the Internet!

It's time to get in shape for the summer!

And if you don't think you can do it, just remember, you can totally do it.

Breaking news! Baseball is back!

Aaaand let's end the post on a nice, romantic note with some lovely wedding footage.

And now we crown the winner of the GOLDEN COMPUTER AWARD. Check it out!

It's so beautiful!

Our winner this week is Olcubmaster who has been crowned twice over and has won yet again with this cozy little internet hangout, where it's just super chill all the time. But honestly, guys, olcubmaster needs some competition. Post links! Post funny videos! You could win that lovely, shiny badge along with my eternal gratefulness for granting me a momentary reprieve from the persistent boredom that plagues my every waking moment. Do it for my sake. Also, because it's fun.

Link:http://ift.tt/1UthEI4. http://ift.tt/1ZaTinF
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Monday, May 30, 2016

Tower Stand-Up Paddleboards- Your Choice

Like surfing, only far less counter-culture.

When you think of someone on a board, you think of someone with no shirt and long hair, zooming through a curling wave while a guitar solo shreds in front of a firework eagle that melts into a picture of the cosmos with the caption IT'S ALL AWESOME, LET'S GET SANDWICHES as a dolphin throws cookies onto the plate that is the beach.

But being that cool after age 19 puts a LOT of pressure on the body! A normal person who just wants to spend a little time on the water, isn't there a place for them? The answer is yes. The place for the normal person is on a paddleboard.

Once you master the balance part (you'll get a little damp but you'll pick it up fast) no longer will you need to know terms like "Gnarly Tube" and "Swang Nine" and "Bingo Pizza" and all the other things surfers probably say. Instead, you'll use terms like "Isn't this fun?" and "Let's paddle towards the park!" and "Aren't you glad we bought this lake house, darling?"

Paddleboards: because you can't be a nineteen year old beach rat forever.

Link:http://ift.tt/1Y0nyDn. http://ift.tt/1XIbkB5
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Follow Woot on Instagram, Win a BOC (Maybe)

Instagram BOC Terms and Conditions

Sweepstakes Terms and Conditions

• NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT REQUIRED TO ENTER OR WIN.

• The promotion begins at the time of posting and ends 24 hours after the image has been posted.

• We are offering a prize to five randomly drawn individuals who enter the promotion by the promotion’s end date or time.

• You must be an individual legal resident of the 50 United States or the District of Columbia and the older of 18 years of age or the legal age of majority in your state of residence. Limit one entry per person per social media or customer account.

• You may enter the promotion via one of the entry methods described below. To participate, review the linked announcement for this promotion and follow the instructions to enter.

• Comment on an Instagram post using the hashtag #ISeetheBOC

• Odds of winning depend on the number of eligible entries received.

• Our and our affiliates’ employees and their immediate family members are not eligible to participate.

• Winners will be notified as specified in the linked announcement for the promotion within 5 days of the end of the promotion, and once notified, you will have 24 hours to claim the prize.

• We reserve the right to modify or cancel this promotion at any time.

• This promotion is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by, or associated with Facebook or Instagram.

• By entering the promotion you agree that we and our affiliates, the prize provider(s), and Facebook and Instagram, will have no liability, and will be held harmless from and against any liability or loss, including reasonable attorney’s fees and costs, for all matters related to your acceptance, possession, experience with, use or misuse of the prize or participation in the promotion.

Link:http://ift.tt/1VrDi1G. http://ift.tt/eA8V8J
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Sunday, May 29, 2016

KitchenAid Heavy Duty 5Qt Mixer-3 Colors

WHICH KITCHENAID HEAVY DUTY MIXER COLOR WILL REIGN SUPREME?

RED MIXER: I AM THE COLOR OF COURAGE AND SACRIFICE. AND ALSO LOVE. AND BLOOD. I WILL COURAGEOUSLY MIX YOUR INGREDIENTS WITH BLOOD. No wait, that's not what I—

BLACK MIXER: I AM THE COLOR OF POWER AND AUTHORITY. AND DARKNESS. I WILL RULE OVER YOUR KITCHEN AND COVER YOUR HOUSE IN DARKNESS. IT'S OK, EVIL IS COOL.

SILVER MIXER: I am the color of shiny.

RED MIXER: I WILL—wait, that's it? Shiny?

SILVER MIXER: Well......yeah.

BLACK MIXER: So hang on, if a bear attacks you in the woods, you would defend yourself by being shiny?

SILVER MIXER: Why would I be in the woods?

RED MIXER: I don't think any of us could defend ourselves against a bear.

BLACK MIXER: I would.

RED MIXER: How?

BLACK MIXER: I'd mix its face.

RED MIXER: Forget the bear. Surely there must be something about being silver.

SILVER MIXER: I guess clouds have a silver lining.

BLACK MIXER: Ok good.

SILVER MIXER: Uh, silver is associated with 2nd place.

BLACK MIXER: This is sad.

RED MIXER: Hey, silver is a valuable metal, right?

SILVER MIXER: I guess so.

RED MIXER: Hey, why don't we all reign supreme?

BLACK MIXER: Fine with me.

RED MIXER: Ok. In that case, WE ARE ALL COLORS OF IMPORTANCE, AND WE SHALL MIX YOUR INGREDIENTS. UP TO FIVE QUARTS WORTH OF MIGHTY INGREDIENTS. AND TOGETHER, WE REIGN SUPREME.

BLACK MIXER: SUPREME.

SILVER MIXER: And I'll be in 2nd place.

RED MIXER: C'mon we talked about this.

Link:http://ift.tt/1qWghHx. http://ift.tt/1qnPXWE
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Music Monday: The Montage

Happy Music Monday! Today Scott celebrates the sound of the montage. Set your eyes on your goal and get ready to jump forward weeks at a time as you become a better person... thanks to the power of THE MONTAGE! Here we go...

Frank Stallone - Far From Over

Staying Alive didn't really go down in history as a great movie, but it DID spawn one of the best montage songs the world has ever seen. A string of non-committal cliches, ribbons of synth explosions, a reasonably fast-paced guitar solo and music that feels complex while still remaining unchallenging to the listener. When you're done it feels like you've progressed somehow. And yet, you've never moved. MONTAGE!

We got four more! If they take some time to load maybe montage your way through the wait.

Michael Sembello - Maniac

Here's a great example of a montage. Why? Because you almost certainly knew this song but had no idea who was actually singing it. Maybe it had something to do with how this song hit the charts just as MTV was being born... and this is not really a band that's made for visuals. Sleeveless shirts were not made for hairy shoulders, Michael Sembello.

Glen Frye - You Belong To The City

I remember listening to this song in a car with my best friend, both of us wearing sunglasses as we drove around at night. This wasn't really atypical for that year. We were dumb kids in a small town, but for that one moment, we were sure we were super super cool, because we had the right music in the cassette player. Not quite sure how we didn't die. Possibly we just montaged right around it.

Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger

What you're looking at here is the granddaddy of montage songs. If you're at the mall and this song starts playing, look around and you'll see a few tough guys pretending they're in a montage. If you're watching a comedy and they need to skip ahead, this will be what inspires their song. This song montages so hard it inspired a reference that continues TO THIS DAY in every English speaking country. Except for one, this is the king of all montages. What's better, you ask? Oh, baby. Here it comes.

Robert Tepper - No Easy Way Out

FACT: this song is for a Stallone movie. FACT: it's a high-energy proto-goth beat under some serious guitars that was kind of ahead of it's time. FACT: a few times you can't actually understand what Robert Tepper is singing because he's so into the rock. FACT: the video looks a bit like a drunk guy broke onto a sound stage to make his own demo reel. FACT: by the end of it he might as well be yelling YAA YAA YAA YAA YAA YAA while playing guitar because it's just descended into utter brilliant madness. And you're so busy being amazed you don't even know that four minutes have passed. See? THE IDEAL MONTAGE!

Let us just remind you: some images come from the corresponding Wikipedia page and are here under fair use. See you next week.

Link:http://ift.tt/1XI0vNd. http://ift.tt/OpI1KK
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Dad Or Grad?

Take the quiz. Love the deals.

Link:http://ift.tt/1qWgpql. http://ift.tt/eA8V8J
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Friday, May 27, 2016

Mortimer and Monte's Weekend Adventures: Maureen and the Space Time Portal

Link:http://ift.tt/1U2dd49. http://ift.tt/1PRrC2r
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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Teeter 800ia Inversion Table

When the magnetic poles invert, YOU'LL be ready!

One day, it'll happen. The magnetic pole shift will occur. It'll be a whoosh, and a snap, and a rattle, and a thud. And then suddenly South will be North and North will be South and East and West will probably flip but only in a relative way because they're mostly chill and don't really get involved in magnetics too much. And the world will be in disarray for years.

Unlesssssss you get an Inversion Table! Because in an Inversion Table, you're already inverted! Which means when the world inverts around you, you'll invert too... to be the same as where you started before inverting! Which is normal! Which is what you're used to! Which makes you the ruler of the world! Hooray! Hooray for Inversion!

*Warning: Inversion may not have anything to do with magnetics and our author failed physics so maybe it's best you research properties of matter on Wikipedia or something.*

Link:http://ift.tt/1NRgqXK. http://ift.tt/1TMswBX
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U and I

U and I

If I could rearrange
The letters in the alphabet
I would put U and I
In separate alphabets
For U have betrayed I
And I shall never trust U again

Why were U with Y
Last Saturday when I needed U
To attend that stupid party with I
Because U know I hate parties
Especially L and A's parties
Which are LAme

U and I are through
I will never appear with U again
Not in 'fruit' nor 'business'
And certainly not 'pursuit'
Which contains two of U
I am joining the number system

Link:http://ift.tt/1TZGQ66. http://ift.tt/1OzgIf0
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Donuts

Link:http://ift.tt/1NRglDo. http://ift.tt/eA8V8J
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Neato XV-21 Pet & Allergy (Scratch and Dent)

We’ll be honest: The thing we had here was REALLY not rockin’ it. So out of our ~~desperate attempt to be rich~~ love for giving you options, we've switched it to an item we hope you like more. Consider this is your chance to ~~help us look good to our bosses~~ get a little something for yourself. And you'd better hurry. If this doesn’t sell soon, we might just have to change it again! ~~Thank you~~ You're welcome.

Link:http://ift.tt/1WWHIPV. http://ift.tt/1T2dcQH
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Wednesday, May 25, 2016

3D or 4D Massage Chair - Your Choice

Sadly, the 4D massage chair doesn't massage your past.

Now of course a good massage is going to exist in three dimensions. A 2D massage would just be some pressure on your skin or something. To really get in there you GOTTA work the third dimension! But just think of how great a 4D massage would actually be? You'd start feeling really relaxed and then think "Oh, that's right, I have to schedule my massage for tomorrow." You'd get there already happy and the tension would be dripping away. And then you'd start, and that happy feeling would stretch both forward and backwards in time. The tension of causality would be gone!

We're not there yet. But until we are, this massage chair will be the next best thing.

Link:http://ift.tt/1sbEwm8. http://ift.tt/1sbEjiP
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There Can Be Only Pun: The Thin Blue Line

Hola, punneritos. Not a ton of posts last week, but quality ones nonetheless. Once again, we had a Secret Pun guesser. Congrats to kalashizzle for guessing "Fanta Stark." Check your PM folder for your $5 coupon code!

In honor of the hockey playoffs, and because I'm mourning the elimination of my beloved St. Louis Blues, we're going to pun on all things hockey and works of literature.

Examples:

The Adventures of Puckleberry Finn
Of Ice and Men
The Great Gretzky

Now for the best from last time (Frescaros):

It's a tie for first place! We loved "Dr. Pyp-er" from donthaveone, but then moviewatcher busted out with "Dr. Pypar," which is the character's full name. So bravo to the both of you.
DaenerVess Targaryen (barkwoot)
Ramsay Jolton (goldilion)

Honorable Mentions:

Maester Pibb (clhetz)
Rockstark Energy Drink (bankernosaj)
Sierra Mistandei (JDSardone)
Jones Snow (kcostell)

Now that we're actually giving stuff away, the legal peeps tell us we need these Terms and Conditions. So there they are.

Link:http://ift.tt/1TBejnQ. http://ift.tt/1UeIxPH
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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

VIZIO 50” Full-Array LED Smart TV

It's time to reclaim the family hour.

The major driving force of the family over the past hundred years has been mass entertainment. No, it's true! In the early 20th Century a family would gather about the radio and bond together to their favorite programs. In the mid-20th Century, a family would gather about the television and bond together to their favorite programs. And what happened in the late 20th Century? Everybody got their own computers and they all started looking at the Internet alone, behind closed doors. And now look at society. LOOK AT IT. THE POOR MEDIA COMPANIES DON'T KNOW HOW TO MARKET TO US ANY MORE!!!

So here's what you do. You get one of these Vizio TVs and get it into your home's Wi-Fi. Then you plug in all those other computers and gaming consoles and stuff that you use online. And then you throw out everything not plugged into the TV. And you make your family a family again. Want to shoot Nazis in a video game? Do it as a family. Want to binge watch a whole series on a Saturday? Do it as a family. Before long, you'll all be laughing together as you fuse into a glorious single purchasing entity. And then, at last, we'll all get back to a steady marketing stream once more, instead of this patchwork bits-and-pieces crap we've got now. Seriously, look at the ad on this page right now. It's so bad. You never would have gotten an ad like that watching TV in the 1970s.

Link:http://ift.tt/25fZ1wj. http://ift.tt/1Tx4FYK
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Live From the Internet!

Breaking news about videos that will help you waste time at work.

We're back! We're live! It's all happening right now!

Don't you hate it when you feel like playing drums but your drum kit is like two feet behind you and a little to your right? This guy has a great solution for you.

This guy perfectly expresses how I feel about everything I've ever genuinely liked in my life.

Proof that baby humans are jerks.

Proof that baby cows are awesome.

Is it just me, or do all movies seem the same now?

And now it's time to announce the winner of the GOLDEN COMPUTER AWARD. But first let's take a gander at that beautiful prize.

Woooooooowwwwwwwww.

This week, for an unprecedented two weeks in a row, the winner is olcubmaster!!!! Mainly because I can never resist a video of someone falling and this is a video of a lot of people falling:

Olcubmaster, I would tell you to go ahead and grab yourself that prize, but you already have it. You can give yourself two of them, I guess, if you want to.

Can anyone knock olcubmaster from his place atop the GOLDEN COMPUTER throne? The only way to find out is to send in your cool stuff, right here in the comments. Just try it! It won't hurt!

Link:http://ift.tt/1Whr8tb. http://ift.tt/1ZaTinF
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Diamondback Outlook Mountain Bike

May the 24th be with you! It's not a sequel, it's a re-imagining.

The nice part about a holiday based on a pun is that it's movable! As long as you have a MAY and a FOURTH listed, you're covered. So don't limit your Star Love to once a year. Take the new strategy, like the new management's done. Celebrate AS OFTEN AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN (as long as it doesn't interfere with any Marvel holidays, of course)

Link:http://ift.tt/1TytqyD. http://ift.tt/1TytFtg
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