Dell in a handbasket
HOW TO USE YOUR DELL INSPIRON 17.3” AMD QUAD-CORE LAPTOP
1. Open the box. You’ll probably need a sharp implement to do this.
2. No, not your teeth.
3. Go check the drawer, please. I think the scissors are in there.
4. What do you mean “they’re not here?”
5. They were in there yesterday.
6. For crying out loud, look under the old cables and pizza menus you inexplicably save.
7. Ugh, I don’t KNOW if those batteries are good anymore. Where are the scissors?
8. I’m not being aggro. I just want to open this box.
9. This isn’t about the scissors, is it?
10. OH WE’RE BACK TO THAT, ARE WE?
11. When are we gonna be able to move past this?
12. At least talk to me like I am an adult, for crying out loud.
13. I told you: WE ARE JUST CO-WORKERS. THERE IS NOTHING MORE HAPPENING BETWEEN US.
14. Besides, you’re the one who had that mysterious “happy hour” the other day.
15. I’M NOT IMPLYING ANYTHING WITH THE AIR QUOTES.
16. Okay, yeah, maybe I am.
17. I don’t know. Do YOU trust me?
18. YOU ARE TURNING INTO YOUR MOTHER, YOU KNOW THAT??
19. I can’t live like this anymore.
20. Maybe we really need to start thinking about making a change.
21. Like, a big change. I don't think we are
22. Oh hey the scissors are over here on the coffee table.
23. How about pizza for dinner?
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